IMPACT OF HOME ATMOSPHERE FAMILY ATMOSPHERE PLAYS AN IMPORTANT ROLE IN THE DEVELOPMENT OF PERSONALITY AND BEHAVIOUR OF CHILD. AT THE TIME OF BIRTH A CHILD IS LIKE A CLEAN SLATE WITH NOTHING WRITTEN ON IT. THE ATMOSPHERE OF HOME , BEHAVIOUR OF PARENTS AND THEIR HABITS START PUTTING LONGLASTING IMPORESSIONS ON THE MIND OF CHILD AND THIS PROCESS IS SO SLOW THAT IT IS DIFFICULT TO IDENTIFY. TILL THE AGE OF 5 YEARS A CHILD IS MOST CLOSLY ASSOCIATED WITH HER MOTHER AND HER BEHAVIOUR IS VERY CLOSLY NOTICED BY THE CHILD . EACH AND EVERY ACTION OF THE MOTHER OR PEOPLE AROUND START INFLUENCING THE CHILD. IN OTHER WORDS WE START MOULDING THE CHILD FOR FUTURE . THIS IS THE TIME WHEN MOTHER OR PERSON WHO IS AROUND THE CHILD NEEDS A CAREFUL BEHAVIOUR. BUT SADLY, BEHAVIOUR OF MOTHER IS SO MUCH A PART OF HER NATURE THAT IT IS DIFFICULT TO IDENTIFY THE NEGATIVE POINTS AND FEEL THE IMPACT ON CHILDREN. DURING MY COUNSELLING SESSIONS, I COME ACROSS MANY SUCH CASES WHERE PARENTS COMPLAIN OF BEHAVIOUR RELATED ISSUES OF THE CHILD BUT DEEP QUESTIONING REVEALS THAT MAIN REASON IS SOMEWHERE WITHIN THE FAMILY. TIMELY CORRECTION IS IMPORTANT. LESS TIME…MORE MONEY MONEY PROVIDES FACILITY BUT EXCESS SHOW MAKES OUR CHILDREN LAZY AND LITHARGIC. THEY DO NOT VALUE IT’S IMPORTANCE , THEY FEEL MONEY CAN BE EASILY EARNED. THIS IS MORE IMPORTANT FOR PARENTS WHERE BOTH ARE WORKING AND HAVE A NEUCLEAR FAMILY WHICH LEAVES VERY LESS TIME FOR CHILDREN AND MORE MONEY IN HAND. CHILDREN WANT SOMEBODY TO TALK WITH THEM AND SHARE… BUT SADLY, WE DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR OUR CHILDREN. IN TODAY’S FAST PACED LIFE PARENTS DO HAVE LESS TIME, BUT DONOT FORGET THAT YOUR CHILDRENS ARE YOUR PRIORITY AND WHENEVER PARENTS HAVE TIME, THEY ONLY TALK WITH CHILDREN ABOUT THEIR STUDIES AND PERFORMANCE IN THE SCHOOL. EVEN DURING PARENTS TEACHER MEETINGS ALSO PARENTS DISS ABOUT THE MARKS AND GRADES… THERE IS A LIFE BEYOND MARKS THAT IMPACTS YOUR CHILD. CHILD’S BEHAVIOR, THEIR INTERESTS, THEIR FRIENDS ARE ALSO EQUALLY IMPORTANT FOR THE DEVELOPMENT OF THE CHILD AND MUST BE ENQUIRED FROM THE TEACHERS. ONCE IN SCHOOL, A CHILD IS INFLUENED BY THE FRIENDS WITH WHOM HE IS SPENDING TIME AND STUDYING AND AN ENQUARY IN TO THEIR DETAILS LIKE HABBITS, BEHAVIOUR WILL BE OF EMENCE HELP TO YOU FOR CORRECTING OR IMPROVING OVERALL PERFORMANCE AND BEHAVIOUR OF THE CHILD. NEVER EVER COMPARE PARENTS ARE NORMALLY IN A HABBIT OF COMPARING THEIR CHIDREN WITH THEIR SISTER/ BROTHER OR THEIR FRIENDS TO PUSH THEM FOR BETTER PERFORMANCE. I COME ACROSS MANY SUCH EXAMPLES DURING THE COUNSELLING SESSIONS. WE, AS A MATURED PARENT MUST UNDERSTAND THAT EVERY CHILD IS DIFFERENT AND BORN WITH DIFFERENT TALENTS. IDENTIFYING THEIR TALENTS CORRECTLY AT THE RIGHT AGE AND THEN NURTURING THEM IS THE KEY. EVEN SCIENTIST HAVE ESTABLISHED THIS THROUGH RESEARCHES THAT THE BRAIN CAPACITY OF EVEN TWINS ARE DIFFERENT, THE PROBLEM IS THAT WE ARE UNABLE TO IDENTIFY IT. WESTERN WORLD IS USING DMIT TECHNOLOGY FOR THE LAST 200 YEARS TO KNOW IT WITH MORE THAN 90% ACCURACY, THEN WHY CAN WE NOT ASSESS THE SAME . SCIENTIST’S THEORY OF MULTIPLE INTEELEGENES CAN BE OF IMENCE HELP IN IDENTIFYING YOUR CHILD’S CAPABILITIES FOR BETTER PERFORMANCE AND BUILD HIS CONFIDENCE. WE DURING OUR COUNSELLING SESSIONS ARE HELPING PARENTS AND CHILDREN THROUGH THIS. KNOWING THE LEARNING STYLES OF YOUR CHILD PERFORMANCE OF YOUR CHILD IS ALSO IMPACTED BY THE TEACHER, HIS/HER TEACHING STYLES AND THE LEARNING STYLE OF YOUR CHILD. RESEARCHES HAVE SHOWN THAT THERE ARE DIFFERENT LEARNING STYLE PRIORITIES FOR DIFFERENT CHILDREN, IT MAY BE AUDITORY, VISUAL OR KINESTHETIC. THROUGH A PROPER ANALYSIS BY AN EXPERIENCED CAREER COUNSELLOR ONE MAY LEARN WHAT IS THE BEST LEARNING METHOD FOR YOUR CHILD AND THEN TAKE HELP OF SCHOOL TO BETTER PERFORMANCE. CHOOSE EXTRA CURRICULAR ACTIVITY THEY LOVE AND NOT YOUR NEIGHBOURS FOR PERSONALITY DEVELOPMENT AND CONFIDENCE BUILDING CHILDREN NEED SOCIAL INVOLVEMENT AND PHYSICAL ACTIVITIES. I HAVE PRACTICALLY FOUND THAT EVEN AN AVERAGE STUDENT PERFORMS BETTER IF HIS CONFIDENCE IMPROVES. EXTRACURRICULER ACTIVITIES HELP IN THAT. WE NORMALLY CHOOSE AN EXTRACURRICULAR ACTIVITY FOR OUR CHILD WHICH IS EASILY AVAILABLE IN THE NEIGHBOUR HOOD OR OUR FRIEND’S CHILD IS GOOD AT. INSTEAD, ASSESS HIS NATURAL TALENT AND THEN SELECT AN ACTIVITY THAT YOUR CHILD ENJOYS. IT IS EASY TO FIND…. LOOK AT THE PAST PERFORMANCE OF YOUR CHILD IN VARIOUS ACTIVITIES AND IDENTIFY WHERE HE HAS OUT PERFORMED.. TAKE A LEAD AND DEVELOP IT. IT WILL BUILD HIS CONFIDENCE AND OVERALL PERFORMANCE IN THE STUDIES ALSO. HOW A PARENT CAN HELP CHILD IN CHOOSING A CAREER ?? TALK ABOUT THEIR INTERESTS AND WORK VALUES. ENCOURAGE CHILDREN TO USE ASSESSMENT TOOLS TO KNOW THEIR STRENGTHS AND WEAKNESS. REVIEW WITH CHILDREN HOW THE ASSESSMENT DATA COMPARES WITH THEIR FUTURE PLANS. ANALYSE THE ASSESSMENT RESULTS TO DETERMINE THE SKILLS REQUIRED THAT THEY ARE LACKING. CONSIDER THEIR LEARNING NEEDS BASED ON THE ASSESSMENT. ENCOURAGE RISK TAKING AND GROWTH. ASK POSITIVE EXPLORING QUESTIONS ABOUT THEIR FUTURE. ENCOURAGE CHILDREN TO DISS THEIR PREFERRED ACTIVITIES. NOTICE HOW CHILDREN SPEND THEIR TIME… IS HE STUDIOUS? ATHELITIC? INVOLVED IN SOCIAL ACTIVITIES? SPENDING TIME WITH CHILDREN IS KEY TO INCREASE BONDING AND THEY WIIL OPEN UP WITH THEIR PLANS. NEVER IMPOSE YOUR PLANS ON THEM, TIMES HAVE CHANGED AND YOUR PLANS MAY ALSO GO WRONG IN THESE CHANGING TIMES, HENCE, TAKING HELP OF AN EXPERIENCED CAREER ADVISOR WILL BE IMPORTANT. ALOK NIGAM FOUNDER DIRECTOR AT BRAIN POWER ( India’s Top Career and Personality Counselling co.) RTD. SR GENERAL MANAGER AT JK LAKSHMI CEMENT LTD. www.brain-power.co.in
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